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02-18-2005, 06:15 PM
I thought that some of these were really funny.....
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
>
> After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
>
> The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous On the
> pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get
> nervous, I take a sip."
>
>
>
> So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
> At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
>
> He proceeded to talk up a storm.
>
> Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note
> on the door:
> 1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
> 2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
> 3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
> 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
> 5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
> 6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
> 7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and
> the spook.
> 8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
> 9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say
> he was stoned off his ass.
> 10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
> 11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and
> eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" ..
>
>
> 12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
> 13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the
> grub, Yeah God.
> 14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a
> peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
>
> After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
>
> The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous On the
> pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get
> nervous, I take a sip."
>
>
>
> So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
> At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
>
> He proceeded to talk up a storm.
>
> Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note
> on the door:
> 1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
> 2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
> 3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
> 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
> 5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
> 6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
> 7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and
> the spook.
> 8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
> 9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say
> he was stoned off his ass.
> 10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
> 11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and
> eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" ..
>
>
> 12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
> 13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the
> grub, Yeah God.
> 14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a
> peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
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02-18-2005, 06:18 PM
Man that one is awesome, I've heard it before, still cracks me up though.
02-18-2005, 06:20 PM
Good one Beef PDT_002
02-18-2005, 07:14 PM
Hahaha.. Good one beef..
02-18-2005, 11:26 PM
gooden'
02-19-2005, 03:31 AM
Haha hilarous...
02-19-2005, 09:59 AM
:lol:
02-20-2005, 03:45 PM
hahaha
02-20-2005, 06:24 PM
LOL alright Hurley it was good but not crying good.
02-20-2005, 11:19 PM
haha thats great
02-20-2005, 11:25 PM
both actually lol especially ur mom laughing at that
02-21-2005, 01:54 PM
Why do you all post comebacks thats says haha? I mean by posting that all you are doing is padding your post counts, thus making you all post whores. Come on guys, with posts like these, this message board is going to get boring so so fast. Good posts are what draws people to message boards, not one liners. And threads that consent the use of alcohol to minors? What is the admin of this board thinking? He is not thinking. :twisted: :x
02-21-2005, 02:22 PM
WillieRainbow Wrote:Why do you all post comebacks thats says haha? I mean by posting that all you are doing is padding your post counts, thus making you all post whores. Come on guys, with posts like these, this message board is going to get boring so so fast. Good posts are what draws people to message boards, not one liners. And threads that consent the use of alcohol to minors? What is the admin of this board thinking? He is not thinking. :twisted: :x
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! <----------that means i dont care what you think
02-22-2005, 12:47 AM
Why did I expect one line answers from you morons? Tell me the answers to my questions young fellows.
02-22-2005, 12:57 AM
lol i totaly agree peter somethimes laughing is esential to life
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