[Stardust]

You asked how do you cope. The answer is, however you want to. Short of harming yourself, this guy, or your girlfriend, there are no "shoulds" in this process, as in, "I should be able to accept this," or, "I should be more/less emotional." The grief you feel after betrayal is very personal. The decisions you make are, as well. Get rid of the bed if it's bothering you. Fill the dumpster with sheets and throw pillows. It doesn't matter if that's immature. Be immature. I can't tell you whether or not to stay together. A big relationship-altering event has happened, and it's going to be a while before you know how everything shakes out. No matter what you decide, there is a baby involved that will keep the two of you connected for many, many years.

[Ballers]

You are torn between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, you love your girlfriend and want to forgive and trust her; on the other, your feelings were hurt, your perspective of your relationship has been changed, and you don't want to feel taken advantage of.

Expecting or dwelling on relationship perfection of the past may hinder your healing process. Instead, you might approach your situation as a chance to strengthen the bond you two once shared. Perhaps you could sit down with your girlfriend and each make a list of all of the qualities you love about one another and another list about things that need improving in your relationship. You could discuss your expecations regarding fidelity, open communication, and honesty, and listen to her expectations. How can you achieve the improvements you've both listed? Are they reasonable? What are you willing to compromise on?

Before you make your final decision, you can weigh out the pros and cons of staying with your girlfriend. If the "pro" list outweighs the "con" one, your answer may be evident. Ballers if, however, the situation is reversed, you may want to take some time to figure out your options with a trusted friend, family member, or counselor, minister or someone else that you can count on.

That is really good advice Stardust..
However, I can't even look at her, I don't want to look at her..
Trust is like respect in my book - you don't just trust some hobo off the street you earn it.
With that being said I don't think there is any way I will ever forgive her enough to make a compromise and be willing to give it another shot.
The relationship is ruined, my heart is heavy and cold.
It's too torn and too beat up. There is no way I can turn back..
I would never be able to trust her again I don't believe..
It's the whole theory of having something you can't have that makes it even harder..
I probably should see a counselor, but I don't want to because I feel like they would try to put me in the psych-unit. And I am not crazy, well maybe just a little but I don't think I should go there..
As far as ministers - pastors - etc. go, we have plenty of them here and great ones at that.

[Ballers]

And when I say "having something you can't have"..
She wants me - but I wanted a beautiful and unwilted relationship..
It's way to wilted for me to go back, and it would never be the same I'm afraid..

[vundy33]

Maybe in a few months..

Once upon a time my advice to you would have been to go out and find yourself a whore..

But I guess I've grown up, because I don't give that kind of advice anymore..

Oh, no whores dude. Getting on top of another is the best way to get over it. But, it is a bit soon.

I was in the same spot as you a few months ago...only difference was that she has 3 kids that I looked at no differently than if they were mine. Hell, 2 of them called me daddy. Told me I could never see them again and it about killed me.

It's a bitch.

[zaga_fan]

That's tough, man.
I'm always here if you need anything.

[Aslan]

No love lost, no love found. Once someone screws you over like that, you'll never trust them again. If y'all get back together you'll be wondering where's she at, who's she with, why ain't she answering my texts, stuff like that. It's a lost cause. If the child is yours, be a man, and be the best damn father you can to him/her, despite you and your x's differences.
Personally, I could never get back together with someone that cheats on me. It's really torture being with someone you don't trust. But that's just me, to each their own. Good luck, man. I really wish you the best. God bless.

[J.W.]

That sucks man, really does. But what don't kill you only makes you stronger. I know it hurts having your heart ripped out and spit on like garbage but like aslan said, if thats your kid shes carrying, be a dad an don't back down. Eventually she will realize what she has done even though you lost trust in her. Maybe you'll take her back one day, maybe you won't. But as long as you think about it you will drive yourself crazy like i did trust me so just try to enjoy yourself man. & good luck to you. Remember everything happens for a certain reason.

[#1 Blackcat Fan]

I was just thinking about you Ballers hope your doing better. Dont know you personally, but i have ask for help on here before & you where there. If you need anything PM me.
Hope all is well.

[Commodore_Colonel]

I'll be praying, Ballers!

[BCF4L]

Having a child in this makes things that much more difficult. I went through it myself (she wasn't cheating, but I hated her) but stayed with her because of our child.

Like someone mentioned, make sure the child is yours. If she is only a few weeks pregnant, odds are, that night wasn't the only night she has been doing this behind your back. I'd ask for a paternity test before you commit to anything long term.

IDK if you have me on FB or not, but feel free to add me if you wish, as I'm always available to talk.

Best of luck to ya Ballers.