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08-19-2009, 07:59 PM
If you liked Cash For Clunkers then you'll love this one.
JUST IN ... News Flash
Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.
President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reid are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named....
"CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this... Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government allocates will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.
Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.
Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussels sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.
All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.
Remember you heard it here first...
JUST IN ... News Flash
Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.
President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reid are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named....
"CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this... Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government allocates will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.
Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.
Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussels sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.
All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.
Remember you heard it here first...
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08-19-2009, 09:24 PM
Lets turn in Jim Bunning. He has been senile since Clinton was president. He should be the equivalent of paying for triplets.
08-20-2009, 12:24 AM
^^ DW! There you are! :biggrin:
08-20-2009, 01:10 AM
:lmao: :Thumbs: :Clap:
Great post, Old School!
Great post, Old School!
SHELBY VALLEY WILDCATS - 2010 KHSAA STATE CHAMPIONS
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08-20-2009, 06:01 AM
DevilsWin Wrote:You guys are incurable idiots.
Hey, now that's a dandy one there DW. That's what we all like about you. Your able to cut right to the chase. Highly thought provocative!!!!
08-20-2009, 10:15 AM
Good one, Old School!
08-20-2009, 11:00 AM
Republicans Much!
08-20-2009, 06:01 PM
I love it!!!!!!!!!!
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