[Batpuff]

*Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a coal truck on a mountian.

*You wait all year for April... because you know that means one thing: HILLBILLY DAYS.

*School gets cancelled for Hillbilly Days.

*The Eastern KY Expo Center is the coolest thing Pikeville has gotten in your lifetime.

*You know were all the bootleggers live... and that the door is always open.

* You've seen all the big bands 10 years after they were popular.

* You measure distance in minutes.

* You know several people who have hit a deer.

* You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

* Stores don't have shopping carts; they have
"buggies."

* You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it.

* You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to fix dinner.

* All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable, with the exception of Hillbilly Days.

* You install security lights on your doublewide and leave it unlocked.

* You only own three spices: salt, pepper and tabasco.

* You think everyone from a bigger city has an "Northern accent."

* The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for sports.

* Friday night football games are required for conversation in Sunday school.

* You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

* There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1,000 or more.

* Any time you order tea to drink, the waitress asks, "sweet or unsweet?"

* Going to Walmart is a favorite pastime known as "goin wal-mart in" or off to "Wally World."

* A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or coke ... it's a Pop, regardless of brand or flavor.

* You can be satisfied with a meal consisting only of a hunk of bread, with flavored flour and water on top of it: a delicacy known as "biscuits n' gravy".

*The word "air" can you be used in various ways. Ex. "We breath air."; "Yeah, Tater's over air at Beechnutt's house."

* You "warsh" your clothes.

* You "might could" or "use-ta could" do something.

* You pronounce Pike County like "pIKE County"

* Your MySpace has a counter that tells how many days, minutes, and seconds until Hillbilly Days.

* If you live in or up a holler.

* Your English teacher says things like "Y'all" and "Ain't Got None"

* No matter how bad UK's basketball team actually is, you still belive they'll pull it off and make it to the Final 4 anyway.

*Even if you hate Belfry High School.. Come playoff time during football season you find yourself pulling for them just because they are a mountain team.

* It's not an uncommon site to see a fat man in overalls and a cowboy hat drivin' down the road in a beat up Chevy with a confederate flag hangin' off the back with music from Johhny Rebel blastin' out of his radio

* Wakin' up with coons and squirrels on your back porch is not an uncommon thing

* To you, huntin' aint killin', its sorta like grocery shoppin'

* You only own a pair of church shoes and winter shoes

* In the summer you don't wear shoes

* Even your grandmother chews tobacco

* Your church parking lot is filled with pickups

* The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin'?"

* You actually know who Hank Sr., Hank Jr., George Jones, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Waylong Jennings, Kris Kristofferson, Keith Whitley and all the other LEGENDARY COUNTRY SINGERS are.

*Everytime you hear Family Tradition you throw your hand in the air and give a hillbilly scream no matter when or where you're at....

* You refer to Pikeville as "P-Ville" and Prestonsburg as "P-burg".

* You don't use signal turns because everyone knows where you're going, anyway.

* No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.

* You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.

* Everyone knows all the news before it's published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right.

* A "Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes.

* The New Year's baby was born in October.

* School gets canceled for state sporting events.

* You had senior skip day.

* Your car stays filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.

* Even the ugly people enter beauty contests.

* You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask if you need a ride.

* Your teachers call you by your older siblings' names.

* Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.

* Driving to the party on a four wheeler is quite normal.

* Weekend excitement involves a trip to Wal-mart.

* Your favorite weekend hangout is the Bull Creek Trade Center!

* Your idea of couture are the knockoff Louis Vuittons and Coaches.

* You use words like "skint" and your favorite dinner is pinto beans, corn bread, sauerkraut and weiners, salmon cakes, mustard greens, and fried taters and ketchup.

* When you meet new people, they already know where you're from, just by hearing your accent.

* Your daddy, papaw, uncles.. hell everyone in your family owns a camoflague coat!

* Deer horns serve as a hood ornament!

* You never use a clean word when a "cuss" word would work just as well!

* Your daddy drives a Chevy, and the word "Ford" pisses him off and he thinks Toyota's should be left in Japan.

* Massey Energy.. 'nuff said.

* Wal-Mart is your shopping mall.

* On= own, Can't= cain't, There=thur, School=skew

* You know at least one person who has scraped a 'possum' out of the road and ate it for dinner. l

* You've had a coyote carry off at least one pet.

* You live in a place called Meathouse, Pigeonroost, Dix Fork, Rockhouse, Big Creek, Turkey Toe, Turkey Creek, Coon Creek, Greasy Creek, Hurricane Creek, Long Fork, Crooked Fork, Brushy Creek [=.. pretty much anything with "creek" or "fork" in it.

* Your girlfriend can bait her own fishin' hook.

* You never put the final "G" on words.

* You got excited when they finally put a dollar store in Phelps/Belfry.

* You live at least 10 minutes from real civilization.

* You're no stranger to a back up horn blaring at 4:00 AM.

* You can grease a coal truck.

* Hell, you know everything about a coal truck.

* You didn't know your daddy was white as a child because you only saw him black with coal dust.

* You rent out the volunteer fire department for a wedding/reception.

* It's considered old to get married if you're 23 or older.

* Your dream car is a 40-year-old Mustang.

* Vienie Weenies are the REAL name for Vienna Sausages.

* People in society determine your REAL worth by who your daddy is.

* Your field trip to big ole Pikeville College got cancelled cause a coal truck "turned over" and you couldn't get across the train tracks.

* When you "bum" chewing tobacco off your granny all the time! RED MAN ONLY!

* KFC is the premier hangout on weekends

* You consider Pikeville the "BIG CITY"

* School gets cancelled just because there are some snow flurries outside.

* You're shocked to learn that everyone doesn't fry their food.

* You've eaten deer, wild turkey, squirrel, and rabbit.

* Walking the railroad tracks is a favorite past time of yours. When you're not graffitiing stationary trains.

* HORNETS

* El Azul Grande

* Only a true Pike County resident knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, an adjective, as in "that ol' booger," a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.

* You know where there's a fight because everyone and their mother is running to the parkin' lot.

*The 3rd is considered a county wide holiday

*Hurricane Creek is pronounced "hur-i-cun"