[DevilsWin]

Whats the difference between a good joke and a bad one?

Bad one:

What's the difference between God and Obama?

1.) God only asks for 10% of your money.
2.) God only requires you to worship him one day a week.
3.) God's plan to save us is written down so we can go read it.

Good one:

1. You might be a Republican if...
   You've ever complained about liberal bias in the obituaries section.
   
2. You might be a Republican if...
   Your electric chair has a kite with a key on it.
   
3. You might be a Republican if...
   You'll spend $20 billion guarding a bridge against the possibility of a terrorist attack, but won't spend 20 cents to keep it from falling down on its own.
   
4. You might be a Republican if...
   You think a Lynch film is a documentary on race relations.
   
5. You might be a Republican if...
   You think spooning is something you do at Dairy Queen.
   
6. You might be a Republican if...
   You think smeared bagels are victims of the New York Times.
   
7. You might be a Republican if...
   You think the right to free assembly is talking about construction companies.
   
8. You might be a Republican if...
   You have to number the entries of "Hate Week" on your calendar.
   
9. You might be a Republican if...
   Your desk has a drawer for holding computer punchcards.
   
10. You might be a Republican if...
    You classify an elegant dinner as one that needs holes punched in the plastic.Non-Originals: (from Ted Panitz's site)
    
11. You might be a Republican if...
    You've named your kids Deduction One and Deduction Two.
    
12. You might be a Republican if...
    You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.
    
13. You might be a Republican if...
    You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
    
14. You might be a Republican if...
    You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.
    
15. You might be a Republican if...
    You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."
    
16. You might be a Republican if...
    You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
    
17. You might be a Republican if...
    You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.
    
18. You might be a Republican if...
    You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
    
19. You might be a Republican if...
    You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
    
20. You might be a Republican if...
    You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
    
21. You might be a Republican if...
    You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.
    
22. You might be a Republican if...
    You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
    
23. You might be a Republican if...
    You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
    
24. You might be a Republican if...
    You've ever called education a luxury.
    
25. You might be a Republican if...
    You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
    
26. You might be a Republican if...
    You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
    
27. You might be a Republican if...
    When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."