[jetpilot]

I'm the King of the Holler, it's a beautiful life
Just me and my kids and my wonderful wife
See, my Daddy was King and my Granddaddy too
And my young'uns will all know what they're supposed to do

You start when you're little, complaining and faking
Act like you're crazy and your back won't stop aching
Fight with your teachers and wetting your britches
When the doctor's called in you can start with the twitches

By the time you're 18, you're certifiably insane
With a chronic back problem no doctor can tame
Then you gather your records and prepare your charade
And head down to the building where Kings can be made

When the judge calls your name, start with the twitching
Limp to the bench, when he talks, start to flinching
Tell him the story you've rehearsed your whole life
About the pain and the demons, the struggle and strife
Then hand him the records and wait for the call
If all goes as planned, you'll be a King on the draw

Now comes the fun, checks come in the mail
I'm the King of the holler in my own fairy tale
I get food stamps for free, and I'll trade them for beer
We'll party all night, we don't work around here

This chronic back problem is sure getting bad
I need me some Xanax and more Loratab
My doctor don't care, he just bills Medicaid
He knows when he sees me he's going to get paid
So he writes me some scripts, and Uncle Sam buys them all
D*** life is good as a King on the draw